writing learning story

 Dantae's writing learning story.
Term 3 2019

I’m cold, shy terrified saying “I can’t do this”.

There are thousands of people. I am scared. We
are sitting down waiting for our turn to go on
the big stage. It is loud in here like 100 people are
screaming. We are in the room waiting. 

In a special place where all the magic happens, boom bright lights in my face I could barely see my own family or other families. Aka up says his words then Tea comes up acting like the cool guy banging drums. In my head I’m saying “let’s go, I’m the man”. When I hear my name then I know I can do it then the drum dance comes on. I am puffed out but happy, my face all covered in sweat. I was like now that’s what you call a show! Now I’m hot, not cold anymore.

Reflection

I am good at using descriptive language to create a picture like I am puffed
out but happy my face all covered in sweat /boom lights shining bright in my
face

I need to work on thinking about the tense when I write. For example, when I
write a moment in time I need to write in the present tense, but when I write
a recount I need to write in the past tense.